Satisfaction Not Guaranteed

Step right up
Step right up
One used heart for sale
Battered and bruised but works like new
Available for a limited lifetime
Beats steady and requires little maintenance
Features include joy, fear and anguish
Love sold separately

One previous owner
Available only in red
One size fits all
Easy assembly instructions
Does not require ironing
Batteries not included
Act now and receive hope absolutely free

Fifty percent off original retail price
Only one available, hurry while life lasts
Should be handled with care, breaks easily
Don’t be fooled by cheap imitations
Step right up

Terms & Conditions Apply
Satisfaction Not Guaranteed.

 

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